Every Friday I answer your questions, so if there's something you'd love to know, please ask in the group in the# Q & A Fridaythread.

Todays question is: Why does talk therapy make me feel even more stressed out? I don't think it's my therapist, this happens with other therapists and even talk group therapy gives me an emotional hangover for hours, sometimes a whole day.

Here's my answer:

I’m going to be controversial here.

I gave up with talking therapy.

Like you, I found it exhausting and actually found it had a negative effect on me.

I’ve had talking therapy on and off my whole life and I’ve met with lots of different counsellors and therapists. Some have been lovely, but talk therapy just didn’t make any positive difference to me.

The trouble is, counsellors and therapists always fixate on my past history of abuse and they ask me questions about it every time.

I've found myself repeating my story on autopilot, I’ve been over it so many times.

My opinion is that in some circumstances, constantly talking about bad things that’ve happened actually reinforces it in your mind. Instead of dealing with it and releasing it, you just keep reminding your brain that it happened.

I was reliving my abuse over and over again, when I'd actually moved on from it already. The depression continued cos I wasn't focussing on the right things, only the obvious things.

Not one of these professionals ever asked me about my lifestyle or my current situation. And to be honest, these were causing more depression than my past was.

No one offered me any practical assistance or helped me to solve my current problems.

I also learned that every time we recall a memory it changes. It may alter depending on how we're feeling at the time we go back to it.

So if I'm recalling memories whilst I'm suffering from anxiety and depression, it's likely that I'll add more negativity to what really happened. This can make the memories feel more frightening or traumatic than they actually were.

Learn more about this: https://neurosciencenews.com/episodic-memory-change-30022

So, I chose to stop talking about my past.

But I didn’t stop helping myself.

I tried an advanced hypnotherapy technique that showed me that it wasn't my abusive past causing the depression, it was something else entirely!

I trained in this form of hypnotherapy and discovered that it's very common for people to blame a particular circumstance for the black dog stalking them, only for the subconscious mind to reveal something totally different that they'd forgotten all about!

Constantly dwelling on the obvious things, doesn't allow us to uncover the real truth behind our feelings.

The biggest change I made was understanding that ‘actions speak louder than words’.

I changed tack and started taking action. Instead of talking, I did things.

I changed my life.

Moved country, started a new career, ate better, moved my butt, became mindful and meditated. This took time, it wasn't overnight!

It’s been ten years and I feel WAY better.

Here’s my disclaimer: My choices are not for everyone. I did all this under the supervision and with the full approval of my GP. Don’t go doing anything rash, ok?

It just may be time to try a different therapy.

Hope this helps,

With love and magick always, Maria xx

If you would like to find out the root cause of your feelings of depression, why not book your Gaian Pathfinder Sessions today? It's a week of low cost, one to one support designed to help you discover why you feel depressed and help you start your journey on the Gaian Path to ditching the black dog. It includes a hypnotherapy session like the one I described above.

Book now as spaces are limited. https://ditchtheblackdog.com/gaian-pathfinder-sessions

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